Our preconceived ideas of how we believe things should be causes so much angst and strife in our relationships.
For instance, in the relationship with our horses, we believe they must act a certain way because we take care of them. We spend our hard earned money, sweat, blood, tears and time to do for them so they owe us. We deserve to have their attention and hard work to please us. We deserve to be able to put them on a trailer and go have fun while they work hard for us to have that pleasure. Right?
Or, do we have a responsibility to give them the best of us regardless of them and what they do? To learn what they need as a horse to be the best versions of them. To learn to control our emotions. To deal with our life junk and not put our expectations and ideas of how we believe they should be for us onto them. Do we have a responsibility to give them the best of us that we can offer when their bodies have been broken and can no longer serve us?
This is absolutely not to say that you should allow you horse to be rude and dangerous. That isn’t offering them the best we can offer. This doesn’t mean that the best we can offer is sometimes a safe home with someone else or in some cases, humane euthanasia.
This is also not to say that asking your horse to work for you is wrong and they all need to be pasture puffs. The question is, how do we approach them mentally, emotionally, physically? Do you feel you deserve something just because you chose to give them a life with you? Or, do you give them the space and grace to grow into the best version you can help them to become?